so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
