Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
