Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
