So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
