Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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