rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
