Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
