I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize