oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Quick, to the slutcave!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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