Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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