You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
