...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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