Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
