dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
