he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
