I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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