i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
