dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
