im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
