I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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