And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Buhtt sex?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
