What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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