I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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