4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize