South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
