ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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