arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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