we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
