I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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