Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
