ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
