I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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