why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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