I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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