No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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