And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
