I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
