i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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