I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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