He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
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She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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