with your own penis?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
