Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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