can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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