Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
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you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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