me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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