I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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