It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
