You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
