Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
