Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
