every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
