oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
