I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
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My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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