i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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