There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
