can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
