Have you finally orgasmed yet?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
